Customer Service sans Service 3

>I get very irritated when I get unsolicited calls from Credit Card / Insurance companies offering their products.

The bad part is that they will not let you speak, but keep telling you how wonderful their product is.

The worse part is that they will not be able to answer basic questions in a sensible manner, and will conveniently hide the fine-print stuff.

The worst part is, the moment you agree to try their product, you are trapped. Then on, YOU have to call them ‘n’ times for simple things such as mispelt name on the card, unexpected charges etc.

“La La La…Please continue to hold the line. Our customer executives are having coffee. They will be with you in an hour…La La La…

“Sir, You say that you have placed this request last week, but my computer screen does not show anything like that. It shows ‘Flying Objects’ screensaver now. I will take a fresh request now and make it high priority. Please call us again after a week. We will tell you the same story again. Is there anything else I can assist you with ? …”

In software teminology, every rainy day test case will fail multiple times. It will pass after weeks/months, but by then you will be fully drenched.

I am going to collect the phone numbers of these free-credit-card-people and call them one by one. I will tell them this:

Hello Ma’am,
I am calling from the Bangalore Electricity Board. Based on your excellant electricity usage, you have been chosen for a special gift from us.

The gift is a premium cat-mark-candle. You can use it for urgent light requirements when our services are temparorily down.

Please come to our office in Shivajinagar on 1st Sep 2006 between 10.00 am and 10.15 am to collect the same. Carry your PAN card, Passport and Voter’s ID for our verification purposes.

Thank you. Have a nice day !

My friend, Gopi Chinnasamy triggered this idea in my mind. In fact, his ideas are far more explosive ! He has posted some nice photographs in his Flickr page.

3 thoughts on “Customer Service sans Service

  1. Reply Arunkumar Aug 21,2006 2:24 pm

    >funny one.. have u actually tried calling these free-credit-card-people?

    those who bug u on the phone should be royally bugged 🙂

  2. Reply Deaths Head Roy Aug 24,2006 10:14 am

    >Hey, AK, nice one da!!! so do YOU, of all people get bugged by these things??? never thought you would be!! Yeah, these days, when these ppl call me, I ask them if they are giving something for free….

  3. Reply gopi Aug 24,2006 1:17 pm

    >tell them that “if you could give your office contact number, i can call you up daily and keep you updated whether i am interested in your loan/credit cards”

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